And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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