Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize