im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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