O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
As shirtless as possible
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize