So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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