He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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