At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize