I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
