Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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