Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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