if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
