I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
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But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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