Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
