no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize