do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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