pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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