White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
