When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
