if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
