If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
