She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
