I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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