come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
