You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't deserve a penis
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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