Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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