What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
