He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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