That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
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just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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