I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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