i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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