i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
