If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
