dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
