so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
