38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My bed smells like the plague
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