I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
