My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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