I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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