Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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