Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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