i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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