Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
