if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
