But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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