he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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