have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
