She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
