perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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