Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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