Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
