I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize