He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
