Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
