I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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